Lost in translations

(I won't comment on how long it's been. Nor the paradox of the previous sentence.)

I often feel the urge to construct a UK English - US English colloquial dictionary. I know there are loads of dictionaries out there, but I don't think many of them contain the following:

UK English - US English

1. Heath Robinson - Rube Goldberg
2. Daddy long legs, Crane fly - Mosquito hawk
3. Scampi - small tailless fried shrimp
4. Kung-pao chicken - Chinese-style dish with onions, peppers, in a sweet and sour sauce
5. Italian wedding soup - tomato based soup with some pasta, vegetables, and small meatballs
6. Corn - grain

US English - UK English

1. Rube Goldberg - Heath Robinson
2. Daddy long legs - unknown spider
3. Scampi - prawns pan fried in garlic butter
4. Kung-pao chicken - Chinese-style dish with peanuts and dried chilli peppers in a soy flavoured sauce
5. Italian wedding soup - chicken based stock with green vegetables and meatballs and/or sausage, sometimes with pasta
6. Corn - maize, sweetcorn

Expressions
UK English - US English

1. To hand - at hand, handy
2. Cater for - cater to
3. Different to - different from
4. By contrast - in contrast

You get the idea. To paraphrase Steve Martin, it's like these English have a different word for everything!

Of course, it's not as bad as all that. But after being here for awhile (over 6 years now), I'm starting to forget what Americans say in certain cases. Sometimes I'll ask Richard "Do the Americans say ... " and sometimes he won't remember either. One of my American friends says it annoys her when she can't remember what people in the US would say. I find it difficult to talk to her, in a way, because I'm not sure which phraseology to use, and it slows me down.

There are things I still either won't say or have trouble saying:

• quid - slang for a pound, similar to saying buck for a dollar, it just sounds so contrived in an American accent
  
• petrol - gasoline, I still prefer to say gas, I think due to the very English way this word is pronounced, PET-troll
• dosh - slang for money, possibly meaning ready cash, admittedly I don't hear it much
• mate - my Scandinavian friend uses it all the time, maybe because she used to live in London
• idnit - isn't it, used at the end of a phrase in place of many phrases like doesn't it, isn't that right, don't you think, don't they, etc. I don't use it because it's ungrammatical slang.
  

Occasionally I use the English pronunciation of words, like tomato, because if I'm discussing tomatoes with an English person, it feels very weird to keep hearing tuh-MAH-toe and yet saying tuh-MADE-oh. Other times I lean towards the English pronunciation just to be understood. I forget that I have an accent, and then I'll get this deer-in-headlights look and realize that the other person probably has no idea what I said.

And actually, it's not just foreigners' accents that people here find hard to understand. We'll be home watching television and there'll be an interview with someone from the north of England or Scotland, and we'll look at each other and admit neither of us has any idea what the interviewee said. And Richard is English. Other English people regularly admit that they don't always understand what people from other regions are saying. This doesn't happen very much in the US, unless you get someone from a real backwater ...

Take away the chips

It's true that many US folk know English folk call French fries chips. Now I'm here to tell you that isn't quite true. The English call French fries, get this, French fries! Maybe occasionally they're called pommes frites. What the English call chips is what Americans call steak fries. That is, they're big and fat and soggy, not thin and crispy like French fries. And French fries do exist here, just check out any golden arches and you'll get the same French fries that you get in the States. Whenever we get an order of chips (usually while at MIL's), I'm always picking out the scrumps, the little crunchy bits and pieces at the bottom of the paper container. Because I like my fried potatoes crunchy, otherwise, what's the point of frying them?

It's also true that fish and chips come wrapped in newspaper, but only sort of. It's paper like newspaper might be printed on, but nothing has been printed on it. Pretty much everything you can buy at a fish and chip shop comes wrapped in this sort of paper. And that can mean meat pies, deep fried sausages, deep fried patties (meat and veggie), deep fried mushrooms, deep fried Mars(Milky Way) bars, and Chinese food.

Chinese food?

Yes, Chinese food. Many fish and chip places are run by Chinese, so they sell Chinese food as well as traditional English take-away(take-out) food. And, just like in the US, there are Chinese dishes specific to England. In general, I find the Chinese take-away in the Bristol area pales in comparison to that of the San Francisco Bay Area (which isn't surprising). And with every Chinese food dish, they give you a choice of rice or chips. Yep, get your Chop Suey with chips. I find the combination a bit weird. But then, people here eat their chips with all sorts of weird condiments, most commonly malt vinegar, and not uncommonly mild curry sauce. Curry? In a Chinese fish and chip shop? Yes, Chinese style curry. It's milder than Indian curry, and I expect there's some soy sauce in it somewhere, but I don't know for sure. They do also use ketchup(tomato sauce) with their chips here. Oh yes, and salt. If you ever go into a fish and chip shop and they ask if you want salt on your chips, just say no. It winds up being more like chips with your salt. You can feel your blood pressure rise with each bite.

All sorts of main dishes come with chips - take the kebab houses. The primary dish at a kebab house is doner kebab(gyro in the US - I believe doner kebab is the Turkish name and gyro is the Greek name, but Greek and Turkish readers are welcome to correct me here). But loads of other dishes are served at kebab houses: shish kebab, hamburgers, fried chicken, pizza. And all can come with a side of chips. That is, you can get pizza and chips and nobody would bat an eye. Carbo-loading is de rigeur, I guess.

So basically, you can get chips with anything. And late into the night, too. Most of these sorts of take-away places are open until 11PM, or midnight at the weekend. In some places they're open even later. Pubs traditionally stop serving at 11PM, and the thing to do is to go from the pub to the take-away and get some serious munchies. I'm afraid I have fallen victim to the hot Indian curry at midnight shenanigans. And believe me you live to regret that. Indian curry here is very hot. I can eat some hot stuff, but I cannot eat a vindaloo, not even with loads of pilau rice and lager(fizzy beer). I can barely eat a small amount of madras. These are spice heat levels, that is, mild, medium, madras, and vindaloo. They're probably regional designations, but I think vindaloo is vindaloo all over England. When Richard and I went for a curry (you can also "go for an Indian" here, in fact there's a spoof skit that an Indian comedy troupe did called "Going for an English") in California, he would tell the waiter, "I want it hot, really hot, as hot as you can make it" and he'd still get something that I could eat - the gringo vindaloo.

But back to chips, so the question is, what are chips here? They are crisps, and potato crisps come in the most unusual flavors, too. Like cheese and onion, or roast chicken, or prawn cocktail (incidentally, actual prawn cocktails are served with a sort of French or Russian dressing here, not red sauce, which is a huge disappointment. And the prawns, that is, shrimp, are small. What they call king prawns here would probably be thrown back in the Gulf [of Mexico]), or Thai sweet chilli (yes they spell chili with 2 l's, and I find it most disturbing). At first I appreciated the flavors, but now I find them too artificial tasting, so I just stick to ready salted (why not just salted, why the ready? Are there salted ones that aren't ready?)

The way they've taken to the potato here, you'd never know it was a native American food. But there are lots of things that cross borders successfully. The most popular dish in England used to be chicken tikka masala a couple of years ago. It is now Thai green curry.

Another thought to leave you with: one night when we were getting Chinese at one of these Chinese food and fish and chip places, Richard was thinking back to his childhood, remarking that there was one Chinese family in the area, and they ran the local Chinese fish and chip take-away. He turned to me and said, "Imagine going to Beijing and opening a fish and chip shop with no other English or American or foreign families for miles around." Just imagine.

Speaking of false friends

By the way, if someone in England asks you for a fag, they're after a cigarette. And if they say they had a faggot for dinner, they mean a meatball made of offal.

False friends

I'm certainly not talking about the English people in my title. In fact, I find them quite friendly. In comparison with Texas, Connecticut, and California, I would put them just a little less friendly than Texans, more friendly than (Northern) Californians, and lots more friendly than Nutmeggers (Connecticuttites?). I suppose I should explain my subjective (naturally) criteria for judging. I like people to smile and/or exchange pleasantries as they assist you in shops and other businesses. I like it when someone standing next to you in line strikes up a conversation. I like comments from the cheap seats. I like it when people in the community feel they can talk to one another, even though they're strangers. That happens here, and it happens in Texas. And for me it makes moving about in life more pleasant.

However, the false friends I'm referring to are words. Those who have studied a foreign language may have heard the phrase. It refers to words which sound like ones in your native language, but which mean something else. There are some funny examples, like the Spanish word sounding like "embarrassed" means "pregnant", and the Italian word spelled and sounding like "smoking" actually means "tuxedo jacket" (from "smoking jacket"). But in this case I'm talking English to English. The most difficult thing about understanding people here is not deciphering the accents, nor learning the new words. It's getting a grip on the false friends.

For this blog I'll stick to the more food-oriented ones. Perhaps later I'll be inspired to list some of the non-food ones.

The one time I had trouble understanding my mum-in-law was when she was looking for a basin one day. I produced a large plastic bowl big enough to soak your feet in, and she said, "No, I'm looking for a basin." In the end, it turned out she was looking for a bowl.

Some others: What we in the US would refer to as legumes (i.e. beans and peas), the English call pulses. Pencil erasers are called rubbers; we all know what that refers to in the US (here a euphemism for rubbers is "something for the weekend"). That one caught out an English friend of mine who came to the US and taught young children "OK, everyone, now take out your rubbers." and then followed much tittering.

Biscuits here are crackers and cookies in the US. They do have crackers too, but I couldn't categorically say all biscuits are cookies, because I think digestive biscuits here are not sweet enough to be called a cookie, and too sweet and thick to be called a cracker. The closest thing we have to digestives in the US (besides Carrs sweetmeal) is graham crackers. Incidentally, chocolate chip biscuits or cookies here are pretty much guaranteed to be a shortbread with chocolate chips in, something I find most disappointing. The closest thing here to an American style biscuit is a plain scone (they're a little sweeter, but the texture is the same as a baking powder biscuit).

If something has fruit in it here, it probably means it has raisins (and/or dried black currants). Fruitcake, fruit muesli, fruit scones, all with raisins. But what we call raisins, they have a couple of names for: raisins, golden raisins, sultanas. I thought I knew the difference between a raisin and a sultana, but now I'm not so sure.

Now for the pudding. No, no, I don't mean a gooey creamy dessert, I just mean dessert. If someone asks you if you want pudding after your meal, and like me, you don't care for pudding (the gooey creamy stuff), don't be too hasty to refuse. It could be a bowl of fresh strawberries with cream (they often don't bother to whip their cream here, just pour double cream over whatever the dessert is), or a lovely sponge (cake), or gateau (cake or torte). I won't get into certain other items, as their names are a subject of a future blog. Or it could be cheese and biscuits (see above).

Then there's tea. Think you know what tea is? Tea means a number of things here. Sure, it's the drink (and unless told otherwise, expect hot black tea, what we in the US would call English Breakfast Tea, with the optional additions of milk and sugar, no lemons in sight, and certainly no ice!) Tea can also mean afternoon teatime, which, depending on what class you are, could be anywhere from 3-5PM (I think the higher the class, the earlier the tea, but I'm not positive about that). It can mean the afternoon tea itself, which not only includes a cup of tea, but some biscuits, sponge, gateau, or some other little sweet, or even a full complement of little sandwiches with the crusts cut off (salmon and cream cheese, cucumber and butter, tuna and mayonnaise, ham and butter, watercress and butter), plus petit fours, scones, truffles, and a few other bits and pieces. Tea can also mean dinner/supper, that is, the evening meal (or the evening mealtime). That caught us out once, too. While still living in the US, we were at a store one day near where some good English friends lived. It was about 5PM, and my husband suggested we drop in on our friends just to say hello. So we phoned them from the store, their 13-year-old daughter answered, and my husband said we'd be there in 10 minutes and "we'll expect tea," meaning a cup of tea. It so happened that the daughter was in the throes of helping her mum prepare supper, and panicked because she thought he meant that we would expect supper. Apparently she started peeling potatoes like there was no tomorrow! As it turned out, we did have supper there that evening, not a bad outcome considering ...

Egging me on

My MIL* has an egg piercer fridge magnet. It's been on her fridge for as long as I've been visiting, which is over 13 years.

An egg piercer? What the heck is that for? Maybe there are some Americans who know, but I certainly didn't. The English like their soft boiled eggs (or "boiled eggs" as they're called here). To boil them, they first pierce the end with air (the 'pointy' end of the egg), then boil them from cold with about 3 minutes at the boiling point# (how long depends on the size of the egg). They cut their toast into strips called "soldiers", and dip them into the soft yolk. Egg cups are commonly seen in shops that sell kitchenware. Even the ubiquitous chocolate Easter eggs are sometimes made so they sit in a plastic cup (though most are a good 6-7" high, so those wouldn't be mocked up as a regular egg...).

Obviously, with all the equipment around, there must be a penchant for eggs around here. And so there is. Since I have been here, I have not only had chicken eggs, but duck and goose eggs. The only non-chicken egg I recall having in the US is quail eggs on my sushi. You should see a goose egg; I hadn't till I moved here. It's enormous! The size of 2 chicken eggs, easily. I am not overly fond of duck eggs - the yolk is too rich and the white is too rubbery. But goose eggs, now there's a treat, with whites even nicer than a chicken egg. Sort of fluffy.

Chicken eggs - my are they good here. We don't buy our eggs in the supermarket, oh no. The local butcher has them delivered from a local farm, and most of the time we buy them there. But not always. The other day, while sussing out places to live, Richard decided to stop at a pub in Long Ashton (just southwest of Bristol city center) he used to frequent when he worked in Bristol. Lauren was asleep in the car, and MIL* opted to wait in the car while we had a drink. I really didn't want anything, so Richard got a pint and a cup of tea and came back outside. He gave his mum the tea, and I took a walk down the road to take in the view at the end. It was a quiet little lane with some old homes and a church at the end. Also at the end was a farm with eggs for sale. Total honor system, the eggs were just sitting in a sort of hutch with an overflowing money box next to them. Even though we didn't need eggs, I couldn't resist 1/2 a dozen (a common amount to buy here). And there was one goose egg, for a pound (US$1.76). MIL* bought the goose egg (via me). Let me tell you, these were delicious eggs! Yolks a deep yellow, full of flavor. Yummy.

Yes, I have taken to having a couple of boiled eggs a week. Yes, I am using more eggs in my cooking. No, I have not had my cholesterol checked lately...

*Mum-In-Law
# The English say the water "comes to the boil" or "reaches the boil". No random boils for the English, no siree, not like the American "a boil", it's definitely "the boil". Perhaps it's short for "the boiling point of water".

Take away the chips

It's true that many US folk know English folk call French fries chips. Now I'm here to tell you that isn't quite true. The English call French fries, get this, French fries! Maybe occasionally they're called pommes frites. What the English call chips is what Americans call steak fries. That is, they're big and fat and soggy, not thin and crispy like French fries. And French fries do exist here, just check out any golden arches and you'll get the same French fries that you get in the States. Whenever we get an order of chips (usually while at MIL's), I'm always picking out the scrumps, the little crunchy bits and pieces at the bottom of the paper container. Because I like my fried potatoes crunchy, otherwise, what's the point of frying them?

It's also true that fish and chips come wrapped in newspaper, but only sort of. It's paper like newspaper might be printed on, but nothing has been printed on it. Pretty much everything you can buy at a fish and chip shop comes wrapped in this sort of paper. And that can mean meat pies, deep fried sausages, deep fried patties (meat and veggie), deep fried mushrooms, deep fried Mars(Milky Way) bars, and Chinese food.

Chinese food?

Yes, Chinese food. Many fish and chip places are run by Chinese, so they sell Chinese food as well as traditional English take-away(take-out) food. And, just like in the US, there are Chinese dishes specific to England. In general, I find the Chinese take-away in the Bristol area pales in comparison to that of the San Francisco Bay Area (which isn't surprising). And with every Chinese food dish, they give you a choice of rice or chips. Yep, get your Chop Suey with chips. I find the combination a bit weird. But then, people here eat their chips with all sorts of weird condiments, most commonly malt vinegar, and not uncommonly mild curry sauce. Curry? In a Chinese fish and chip shop? Yes, Chinese style curry. It's milder than Indian curry, and I expect there's some soy sauce in it somewhere, but I don't know for sure. They do also use ketchup(tomato sauce) with their chips here. Oh yes, and salt. If you ever go into a fish and chip shop and they ask if you want salt on your chips, just say no. It winds up being more like chips with your salt. You can feel your blood pressure rise with each bite.

All sorts of main dishes come with chips - take the kebab houses. The primary dish at a kebab house is doner kebab(gyro in the US - I believe doner kebab is the Turkish name and gyro is the Greek name, but Greek and Turkish readers are welcome to correct me here). But loads of other dishes are served at kebab houses: shish kebab, hamburgers, fried chicken, pizza. And all can come with a side of chips. That is, you can get pizza and chips and nobody would bat an eye. Carbo-loading is de rigeur, I guess.

So basically, you can get chips with anything. And late into the night, too. Most of these sorts of take-away places are open until 11PM, or midnight at the weekend. In some places they're open even later. Pubs traditionally stop serving at 11PM, and the thing to do is to go from the pub to the take-away and get some serious munchies. I'm afraid I have fallen victim to the hot Indian curry at midnight shenanigans. And believe me you live to regret that. Indian curry here is very hot. I can eat some hot stuff, but I cannot eat a vindaloo, not even with loads of pilau rice and lager(fizzy beer). I can barely eat a small amount of madras. These are spice heat levels, that is, mild, medium, madras, and vindaloo. They're probably regional designations, but I think vindaloo is vindaloo all over England. When Richard and I went for a curry (you can also "go for an Indian" here, in fact there's a spoof skit that an Indian comedy troupe did called "Going for an English") in California, he would tell the waiter, "I want it hot, really hot, as hot as you can make it" and he'd still get something that I could eat - the gringo vindaloo.

But back to chips, so the question is, what are chips here? They are crisps, and potato crisps come in the most unusual flavors, too. Like cheese and onion, or roast chicken, or prawn cocktail (incidentally, actual prawn cocktails are served with a sort of French or Russian dressing here, not red sauce, which is a huge disappointment. And the prawns, that is, shrimp, are small. What they call king prawns here would probably be thrown back in the Gulf [of Mexico]), or Thai sweet chilli (yes they spell chili with 2 l's, and I find it most disturbing). At first I appreciated the flavors, but now I find them too artificial tasting, so I just stick to ready salted (why not just salted, why the ready? Are there salted ones that aren't ready?)

The way they've taken to the potato here, you'd never know it was a native American food. But there are lots of things that cross borders successfully. The most popular dish in England used to be chicken tikka masala a couple of years ago. It is now Thai green curry.

Another thought to leave you with: one night when we were getting Chinese at one of these Chinese food and fish and chip places, Richard was thinking back to his childhood, remarking that there was one Chinese family in the area, and they ran the local Chinese fish and chip take-away. He turned to me and said, "Imagine going to Beijing and opening a fish and chip shop with no other English or American or foreign families for miles around." Just imagine.

Organic Food Festival in Bristol

On September 4th I dragged my husband and took my daughter to the Organic Food Festival in Bristol. Amazing. There were loads of companies, not just showing their food products, but also clothing, bedding, skincare, haircare, and similar products. Most booths were not just showing but selling their products, too. It was almost farmer's market like in some areas where fresh vegetables and meats were sold. Free samples were occasionally available (never enough for me!), and there were several companies selling organic ice cream (although remarkably I only bought 1 cone). And some wonderful chocolate companies, namely The Chocolate Alchemist (making chocolate out of other things?) and Montezuma's Chocolates. It was a warm day, and so it got a little uncomfortable inside the display halls. Many of the booths were outside or in tents, which was considerably cooler. The event was very well attended; last year it was estimated that 40,000 people came through. I'm convinced that a good 40,000 were in the enclosed hall when I was struggling to get through, carrying my daughter (hubby would not set foot in that hot humid building). It's gratifying to see how many companies and products there are, many of which are right in the UK.

People in the UK and the European Union in general are very aware of their food origins. Not just how they're grown but where they're grown and how well the growers are compensated. In other words, there's a lot of attention paid to Fairtrade as well as British grown. Non-genetically modified is also rather important. Organic gets a bit difficult for many farmers because certification costs are significant and organic farmers tend to be smaller. We've talked to a couple of farmers who don't use industrial fertilizers nor pesticides, but haven't bothered to certify. So if you know the farmer, you can get what is organically grown produce even though they can't name it as such. And knowing the farmer isn't so difficult here.

Squash

Following on with my blog on marrows, I thought I would talk about squash. The thing is, if you ask for squash in the UK expecting a vegetable, you're in for a surprise. Squash is a concentrated liquid fruit drink mix that you mix with water, sparkling water, or lemonade (I'll get back to lemonade later). Typical flavors are blackcurrant (practically synonymous with the brand Ribena), orange, grapefruit, apple and blackcurrant, and tropical fruit. They need no refrigeration, even after opening. Needless to say, they are not 100% fruit juice, more like 10% (HiC anyone?). You can buy a "high juice" squash which is 50% fruit juice, and, to me, tastes a lot better. Squashes are not the only concentrated liquid drink mixes - they also have something called cordials. Near as I can tell, cordials are like squashes except they're made with herbs rather than fruits (although it looks like some companies call their squashes cordials because it adds a certain panache). Common flavors are elderflower, ginger, and lemongrass. I'm very partial to the elderflower cordials myself. Cordials seem to be more concentrated, and are like a syrup.

I like these beverages for many reasons: the smaller refrigerators mean that things not needing refrigeration are very convenient; the lack of automatic icemaker means that I have to drink water at room temperature, which is none too appealing, but the squashes and cordials make water much more interesting; there is a bigger variety in beverage flavor options than in the US. Not only are squashes and cordials available in more flavors than I am normally able to buy in US stores, but due to their additive nature, they can be combined with all sorts of drinks to make interesting combinations. And since they're not refrigerated, we usually have a few flavors open in the pantry (more on flavors in a minute). I find that I like to add the elderflower cordial to lemonade. Except that lemonade isn't lemon juice mixed with water and sugar here. Lemonade is a sweet carbonated drink with a hint of lemon, similar to 7up or Sprite. What I haven't been able to determine is what they call American style lemonade here. It's simply not around. I've asked a few people, and no-one seems to know.

Having a small child has also led to a discovery here. When I am at someone else's house and I ask if they have juice for my daughter, they invariably say yes and produce a bottle of squash. Bear in mind that the average squash is about 10% fruit juice. People don't seem to keep juice around, and think that squash is pretty much the same thing. And to add insult to injury, many of the drinks (and other products) list "No added sugar". There is still sweetener in the product, I assure you; what it means is that the sweetener is aspartame, saccharine, or some similar. Personally I'd rather give my daughter sugar than artificial sweetener, but the reality is I just want fruit juice.

Back to flavors: The English seem to like a number of unusual beverage flavors. I've already mentioned elderflower and lemongrass. The other day I bought a 2 liter bottle of dandelion and burdock soda. I don't even know what burdock is, wait I'm looking it up. Well, no wonder, it's a native English plant. For those of you who are curious, dandelion and burdock soda tastes like a syrupy Coke flavored with anise. One of the squashes we have is orange and barley water. Even ginger drinks comes in many forms besides ale; you can find ginger beer (also rhyming cockney slang for queer), wine, and cordials.

The only thing missing from this smorgasbord of beverages is ice. People here don't often have automatic icemakers, which comes as no surprise, seeing as it usually isn't overly hot in this country. But I grew up in the land of iced tea where temperatures were the upper 80s/lower 90s with humidity in the 90s (all Fahrenheit) for about 5 months of the year, and I am used to having ice in my drinks, with the accompanying automatic icemaker. And so I have vowed that when we go to buy a fridge, it will have an icemaker. Some things I refuse to give up }wink{.

Coinage and Mr. Whippy

I'm not a serious collector of coins, but I do have a small collection of coins that interest me. I saved (in some cases, inadvertently) lots of coins from the European nations now using the euro. Over the years, I found that I had 2 favorite coins. One is the French 10 franc coin, not the 2 color one of later years, but the older, smaller diameter, thicker one. This coin is no longer in circulation. My other favorite coin is the British pound sterling. Like the old 10 franc piece, it is thick with a relatively small diameter. It is a beautiful bronze-gold color, and comes with varying designs on one side, representing the different countries in the United Kingdom: England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. The unchanging side has a profile of the queen.

What I like about it is not the designs, but the weight, color, and hand-feel. It's hard to describe, but it feels and looks like it has real value. The only problem is that it is heavy, and there is no pound bill, nor even a 2-pound bill. In fact, the smallest bill denomination is 5 pounds, and that's quite a lot of money (more than US$9 at the current exchange rate). This means that you wind up with lots of heavy coins to carry around; the 2-pound, 2-pence, and 50-pence coins are also fairly substantial. Only my wallet isn't really constructed for carrying a lot of change. And so there is change in the bottom of my purse/handbag, change in my pocket, change in my wallet, change on the kitchen counter, change on the dresser, change in the car, change that my daughter plays with, change everywhere. I find myself buying Mr. Whippies from the local ice cream truck/van just to get rid of change (at least that's my excuse).

Oh, didn't I mention the ice cream van? Near as I can tell, they are a ubiquitous summer institution. Everywhere you go there are the dulcet tones of the ice cream van, coupled with the throb of the engine and the smell of diesel fuel. The soft serve ice cream that they sell is usually Mr. Whippy, a confection which resembles whipped cream more than ice cream. I could easily eat a bucketful at a sitting, but I console myself with a simple cone. I figure it's mostly air, and what substance there is has little dairy in it - it seems closer to Cool Whip, though not quite so sweet. You can have a little syrup dribbled over your ice cream, several flavors to choose from. I always get chocolate. The fellow that comes to our neighborhood sounds Italian; the name "Joe's Ice Cream" is painted on the side of the van, and for some inexplicable reason the tune he plays is "Greensleeves", which doesn't seem conducive to drawing out children for a cone. Nonetheless, he takes the same route every day, and I know when I hear "Greensleeves" the 3rd time he's down on the corner. Yummmmm.

The question is, where do the ice cream van owners go after the summer? I must ask Joe.

Marrows

There are so many things to say; I'm incessantly composing blogs in my head. But I'll restrict this one to the marrow.

The marrow? What the heck is a marrow?, my U.S.-based readers may well ask. And well you may. A marrow is an overgrown courgette. Simple as that.

What is a courgette?, they ask in frustration. OK, I'll tell you. A courgette is a zucchini.

So the English call the small oblong green-striped vegetable a courgette, which is directly from the French, whereas Americans call it a zucchini, which is the plural (and seemingly incorrect plural form) of the Italian zucchina. Whether Americans somehow misconstrued the plural zucchine (such mistaken adoptions being a time-honored linguistic tradition) or whether it is an irregular plural or an older form in the Italian, I don't know. Perhaps someone reading this will, and can send me a comment or email. Why the Americans adopted the Italian word is also a mystery, but I suspect it may be that the original source for the vegetable (or the vegetable name) was Italy. Another time-honored linguistic tradition; for an illustration of this, see the word for turkey (a native American bird) in many different languages.

Now, as for the marrow, it is called a courge in French, and likely a zucca in Italian (although I haven't been able to verify that; however, it would appear that zucca is the Italian equivalent of the American "large squash"). Courgette is the diminutive of courge, and likewise zucchina/zucca. But in England they become courgette/marrow and in America zucchini/squash. I'll lay odds that squash is from a Native American language; note, however, that it doesn't specifically refer to a marrow. Squash is a more generic term describing the entire family of squashes, including zucchini, spaghetti, pumpkin, butternut, crookneck, and many more. I would assume marrow comes from some native language of the British Isles. The truth is, people in the U.S. just don't see marrows around. If we did, we'd probably call them giant zucchinis, or some such. But for some reason, they're not grown.

OK, I admit that I have a good idea of the reason. They have so little flavor as to be fairly unappealing. It's not that they taste bad, it's that they don't taste at all. You see, I tried cooking a marrow by stuffing it with a spicy sausage and rice stuffing, thinking it might make for an interesting meal. The reality was that I preferred to scoop out the stuffing and leave the marrow behind. Next time, I told my husband, I'll stuff an eggplant. Uh, aubergine.